Feel the fear and do it anyway. I believe that’s a book title, or at least a saying that gets thrown around a lot. Most of us have done this. So scared we want to puke, adrenaline pumping, hands shakin’… Then you leap. “Is today going to be the day?” My friend asked me as we all dragged our yoga mats towards the wall to kick up into hand stand. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to do a hand stand. The teacher went on about fear, that it’s not a lack of capability that paralyzes us, but
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So I’m on the bus with my kid, minding my own business (y’know, listening in on other people’s conversations,) when these two women behind me start talking trash about their co-workers, rather loudly. By trash, I mean trash. Like full on nasty gossip. Not the gossip that you lie to yourself about and pretend it’s not gossip, as if you’re concerned or ‘need to process’ or whatever. This was high blowin’, low level, complete with vulgar-name-calling and that disgusted valley girl intonation- gossip. It took a lot for me to not say something. I’m not entirely sure why I didn’t.
In a recent article I wrote for beamsandstruts.com, I spoke to a variety of spiritual impulses I can see are at play beneath our obsession with being beautiful in our culture. What this has triggered in me is seeing these impulses at play beneath all that we do. When these impulses don’t get healthy expression and become cut off, the shadow self finds some other way to get expressed. We check facebook obsessively, we smoke grass of have a beer, we gossip or watch television or otherwise distract ourselves in order to not feel the rising anxiety of ‘the call’ What
A common theme I see, in others and in myself, when confronting what it takes to remain steady on our path of development is waiting for the ideal circumstance to begin practicing. Excuses like, “I don’t have time to cook healthy food” or “I would meditate but I have noisy kids” or “It’s too wet to go for a run,” are so common that we forget they’re excuses and actually believe that they’re true! It’s as though the practice is supposed to be perfect. But that’s the beauty of having a practice, you’re practicing! I have a commitment to meditate
This post is starting on a bit of a dark note. woot woot. Ready? Let’s go… My uncle is dying. He’s taking stock of his life. He looks at me through wet eyes, stern as can be. I can hear the morphine in his voice, shaking and a little slick. “Most people spend their life worshiping the wrong things. I spent my life worshiping the wrong things. Please don’t spend your life worshiping the wrong things!!” Well now, what is that supposed to mean!?!? So I have been sitting with this question, what do I give worship to? What do
Two weeks into 2011 and how’s it going? Resolutions rockin’? Getting your shit together? Not me. I don’t have my shit together at all. My New Year ‘projections’ generally consist of a bunch of measurable goals, financial targets, new projects and deadlines intended to light a fire under me. All of these are in the name of progress, of growth. It feels good to be progressing. It feels good to grow, I am not knocking such things and for many perhaps this is the right place to have their attention this year. But me, well, I know how to get
It’s a fast paced, moment chasing moments kind of world these days. Lots to do..places to get…things to acquire…people to impress…goals to accomplish…challenges to overcome…happiness to strive for…relationships to manage…households to run…money to make… The vitally urgent, oh so inflated sense of importance projected onto everything comes screeching to a halt…when someone dies. I learned of the death of a colleague yesterday. Shocking. Heartbreaking. The swirl of a day’s agenda enters slow-mo mode. Perspective is taken anew. There is a void. There is deep connecting to do with those who knew her. There is sobbing. There are hearts breaking and
Looking at my body naked in the mirror this morning, I discovered that I look like a goddess. This may seem like the opening to a rather narcissistic post or a least some celebratory bit of self love, but it’s anything but. I don’t know what’s more disturbing, how much weight I can put on in a short period of time, or that I am at a place in time in our culture where looking like I belong in a Renaissance painting is sadly disappointing. A friend recently stated that she loves her body, then after a short pause followed with “on
Walking out of a particularly intense power yoga class today, all revved up and buzzed out, a girlfriend and I started chatting about what the ideal day would look like. It’s something I’ve been playing with a lot lately. It seems like sorting out what the perfect day would look like is the hardest part, not actually living it. Though perhaps not. But with the year coming to an end, saying goodbye to 2010 and all that was packed into it, I’ve been wondering, how do I want to shape my days in the New Year? One thing I know
In a recent battle with technology, I found myself sitting across from a rather charming employee of the cell phone company I am under contract with. In not too long a time span, he fixed my phone, entertained me and assured me that the bill I was ranting and raving about is in fact way too high and if I simply call this number (customer retention) and act like a hard ass, I will get this amazing plan for a tiny rate and the whole world will be rainbows and butterflies. ‘Butterflies’ is exactly what I felt as I reached