I am so good at asking for help that sometimes my mother shakes her head in horror, astounded by why I need so much damn support. It’s so I can do awesome things. Obviously.
I haven’t always been that way, I used to think I was supposed to have my shit together. But no more, my friends, no more!
If you suck at asking for help, it might be because you too have bought into the lies that you’re supposed to have your shit together. Or perhaps you feel you should be able to do it on your own. Or maybe you’re concerned that asking for help is akin to admitting defeat, that it says to the world that you’re not competent or capable.
Not being willing or able to ask for help becomes a massive problem if you ever want to get something done that’s bigger than you. This week’s practice looks at what’s behind the very rampant resistance to asking for help and then, dear friends, I offer you a cheeky little practice that all you super capable people won’t want to do. Which is exactly why you should do it. Watch and cringe.
(If you’re grappling with something that you’d like a practice for, click here.)
Practice: Whenever you’re asked ‘would you like help with that?’ Say yes. Particularly when it comes to groceries. That’s right, let the kind clerk carry your groceries. Even if you’ve got so few that it’s utterly embarrassing to ask for someone to carry them out for you.
Practicing asking for help where you already, without a doubt, KNOW you’re capable is the best place to start. You’ve got nothing to prove because you’re already confident in your competence. So you get to practice being cool with whatever you assume the judgements of others are.
(psst, little secret for you…people don’t judge you when you need help. Think about it. When someone asks you for help, aren’t you just super keen to give them a hand? Asking for help invites others to assert their own capabilities- and clearly we like to feel capable, amiright?)
May this practice serve you and may you go get the support you need to create the life and work that you’re truly up for.