Grade five. A slumber party. Marcy’s house, in the basement wreck room. Truth or dare. We’d played lots of truth or dare and spin-the-bottle before this night, at Matthew’s house on Wednesday afternoons after his dad taught us about science. My first French kiss was in a closet there and it was like sliding a slug over my tongue which was both exciting and totally unimpressive. But this time, it was just the girls. It was the first time I was aware of ‘group energy’, of the feeling of a collective altered state. In my memory we were all high
Love your Humanity
What Do We Need To Fearlessly Lead?
Why do we kill our leaders? The big deal messengers and revolutionaries get assassinated or crucified. We shred our men for their weaknesses and failures and shun our women for their cellulite and saddlebags. It’s no wonder that there’s a collective fear of sticking one’s neck out. It’s not a shock to me that most of us are pre-occupied with what others are going to think. When we really take a stand, use our voice and take the front line of something that matters, we open ourselves up to all sorts of scrutiny. We have an insane imagination that those who lead
Satisfaction with Completion: The A-Type’s Blind-Spot
There’s a massive hill in front of us and my kid gives a defeated sigh before dismounting his bike. “No way,” I say, “you’ve totally got this. Here, I’ll give you a boost.” Encouraged, he jumps back on his bike with a big old grin. Up the hill we go, his little legs pumping, my hands on his back running behind him pushing him towards the top, his training wheels rattling as though they’re going to break free. We’re both laughing and whooping and calling out encouragements. We hit the top of the hill, high five and start heading down
Your Best Work Comes From Your Natural Rhythms- Breaking And Building Habits That Work
I’ve been arguing with my accountant for years now about the legitimacy of writing off my yoga membership as professional development. I might just do a teacher’s training so that I can finally claim this one since a consistent practice, (and one that’s supported with teachers and community,) is instrumental for my capacity to do my work. The kind of presence and awareness needed, to be able to meet, hold and work with a client in a way that deeply serves them, isn’t simply drawn upon from nothing, nor can it be cranked through. I need to be deeply engaged
GOSSIP. THE FAST FOOD OF CONNECTION
You want me to see you. You want me to know you. You want me to get what makes you tick and seek and swoon. I want you to hear me. I want you to meet me. I want your curiosity to wash me open and exposed and delight in what she sees. We want connection. We want resonance and shared meaning and recognition. We want to give and receive the treats of our meandering souls. And so we talk about our acquaintance’s failings and our sister’s secrets. We whisper about the underdog’s disgrace or the head cheerleader’s imperfections. There’s
Everyone’s busy- How to create inner space when life is crammed
I’m going to throw out a ridiculous question here and ask if you’ve ever struggled with having too many things to do and not enough time to do it? Obviously. That’s how things are these days, a month’s worth of ideas packed into an afternoon’s schedule only to be half-completed through at frantic speed or trudged through with that nagging feeling that we’re just getting further behind. Toss some unpredictable life stress in there like a displeased client, project deadlines missed by others, a pissed partner that seems to come out of nowhere, tax season, or your children just being
The Good News Is…It Doesn’t Get Better
I used to imagine that once I had more under my belt, once I had some measure of success, that things would be easier and I would be less afraid. I used to imagine that being seen and recognized and validated for who I am and what I have to offer would give me a sense of impenetrable confidence. Now that I have arrived where I imagined these experiences would occur, I get to confront a different reality. It’s at once agonizing and utterly liberating. More on this in a moment…first a short tale… I was walking down the street
I Was Totally Brainwashed. Damn.
Have you ever been going along minding your own business and then got caught up in an idea or concept or project or person and found yourself soaring along and buying in, only to end up feeling totally duped? And as you opened your eyes you’re all- how the heck did I let THAT happen? You know what’s great about those moments? Your eyes open. What’s brutal is that this is happening all the time as our world-views, values and perspectives are formed by the culture we’re in and much of the time it’s near impossible to wake up and see
Giving It Your ALL- The Shadow and the Shame
Giving it your all is the gold star of our cultural value system. We love a story about prevailing over adversity through sheer will. We celebrate going above and beyond the call of duty. Under-promise and over-deliver is a strategy to strive for and there’s something downright sexy about giving every last drop of everything you’ve got to something that matters. And this is how I got sick. Not like sick-sick. Not like out of time or options or resources sick. But my body said no through more than whispers. It was a dull illness that came and went for a year.
Addictions, Afflictions + the Radical Act of Compassionate Love
Welcome to Earth. Choose your addiction, your affliction, because perfection is fiction delusional wishing to be free of our grasping and tender humanity. The intensity of anxiety that can accompany uncertainty may lure us endlessly into perceived solutions for the lack of ground. Something to get, to attain, to consume Something to crave, grasp for. But there’s never going to be ground. There’s never going to be a destination to relax at. Relaxation comes when we cease chase the experience that will obliterate this one. Our addictions, whether debilitating substances, social media, spinning thoughts or endless bickering. Shopping or sex or
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