Walking out of a particularly intense power yoga class today, all revved up and buzzed out, a girlfriend and I started chatting about what the ideal day would look like. It’s something I’ve been playing with a lot lately. It seems like sorting out what the perfect day would look like is the hardest part, not actually living it. Though perhaps not. But with the year coming to an end, saying goodbye to 2010 and all that was packed into it, I’ve been wondering, how do I want to shape my days in the New Year? One thing I know
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What? You’re human?!?!
In a recent battle with technology, I found myself sitting across from a rather charming employee of the cell phone company I am under contract with. In not too long a time span, he fixed my phone, entertained me and assured me that the bill I was ranting and raving about is in fact way too high and if I simply call this number (customer retention) and act like a hard ass, I will get this amazing plan for a tiny rate and the whole world will be rainbows and butterflies. ‘Butterflies’ is exactly what I felt as I reached
They’re just thoughts
They’re just thoughts, your thoughts. They may be brilliant or dull or obsessive or dark or downright entertaining, but they are just thoughts. They’ll lead you somewhere, they always have, they always will. They are not who you are or why you are or even really come from you at all. Floating thoughts, jumping thoughts, playing in the back of your mind thoughts. Thoughts with weight and momentum and certainty of their validity. Fleeting, fiery, forecasting thoughts. Repetitive, habitual, recognizable, s0- fucking-familiar-are-we-actually-here-again thoughts. They’re just thoughts. When they pass by, like a paper boat floating across a screen (you can picture
This is what’s happening. Can you deal?
While riding my bike in the rain without appropriate rain attire, I could feel a growing agitation at the discomfort. I was resenting the rain. Many of us here in Vancouver resent the rain. Since it rains about 45% of the time in Vancouver, this is absurd. But this is how we are, us humans, isn’t it? Absolutely absurd. Fiercely resisting what is. So here comes the freezing winter we were promised and the groans are getting louder. On this day in the rain, I played with this metaphor of physical vs interior discomfort by getting off my bike, sitting
The cracks in your armour
A while ago I wrote a post about the kindness of strangers on a bus. It was a couple of weeks or so. When it was written is irrelevant. When the experience happened is relevant as day by day since, the experience has been settling deeper and deeper into me. Being cradled and cared for and supported by a bus full of strangers in an odd, raw and needy moment has jostled me into wondering what else I may be missing out on by having my shit together. Further, what we are all missing out on by having our shit
Kindness of strangers
It was ‘one of those days’. You know the ones. Exhaustion hung off me like humidity and the cloud around my brain seemed to move me in the direction of whatever didn’t really need doing, totally missing what was most important. It was a hazy, lazy, lethargic, static, sticky kind of day. I’d forgotten the shoes, showed up at the wrong time, left my keys behind and all such things that makes a person ask, how have I actually made it this far in life? Running behind to meet a friend who was picking me up a bus and sky
The sunny side of suffering. fo’ real
Suffering totally sucks. Watching people we love suffer, totally sucks. There is an obsession in our culture with doing well and being happy and it propels us into doing everything we can to not suffer. We make all sorts of plans and learn a whole bunch of information and practice skills so that we can make a fantastic life full of rainbows and butterflies and exquisite lovers and cold hard cash. Let’s outsmart suffering. Let’s outgrow suffering. Let’s out evolve suffering. Let’s do it better than our parents so we won’t suffer. Don’t let the irony be lost on you.
Knowing where you are
Do you know where you are right now? Silly question. Staring at a screen right? But your mind, your heart, the bulk of your focus. I can’t speak for everyone here, but I can speak for myself when I say that being fully present is difficult. Even being partially present really. I find a tremendous amount of comfort and excitement in fantasies of the future, in planning, in having a whole world that exists outside of right now that I am living into. I’ve always been urgent and even somewhat intense. (Those who know me well might get a chuckle
Idiot Compassion. Know it. Lose it.
Compassion and condonation are not the same thing. Collapsing the two leads to idiot compassion. Idiot compassion is sourced from a desperation to do good. It is noble, but blind. It is dripping with altruism and perpetuates the problems that call for a compassionate view to begin with. Idiot compassion says “let it be. We are all the same. This behavior comes from ignorance. Love anyway.” Idiot compassion paralyzes. Allows for. Hides on the sidelines and nods. Idiot compassion is ignorance dressed in love’s clothing. Compassion says “Let it move. Be aware. This behavior comes from ignorance. Make a choice of right action. Love while doing
Your Moral Obligation
Heavy title huh? It’s heavy shit. What is not being fulfilled and why not? Said another way, what is our world waiting for from you and what’s holding you back? I am insightful and I am talented. This isn’t horn tooting and it isn’t personal, it’s a mixture of my genetics, personality, culture, the opportunities I’ve been afforded and the time and place we are on this planet. Much comes easily to me and I grateful for that. But what comes with it is an intense amount of anxiety. What happens for someone when they have the impulse and resources
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