Did you see those January memes going around?
How is it January 74th already?
Does anyone know if 2020 has any other months?
I felt so seen.
My family got sick in January and it dragged on for weeks, glommed onto February and cycled back over and over again. It became a dark comedy except the only thing that was funny about it was the relentlessness.
It was like that David goes to the dentist video. “Is this real life? Will it be like this forever?”
I had to put things down that I didn’t want to. In a fog head pain and raw garlic with oil-of-oregano chasers, I met the ask: Discernment.
What were the most important things to attend to for my business and family while time narrowed to a singular need: crawling out of my beloved Costco slippers and back into bed.
Sharpened Discernment is an essential life skill.
One of the greatest challenges I’ve faced, over and over again, is trying to fit in all the things. And subsequently feeling behind and like I was failing something or someone. Blame it on my personality (Enneagram type 7 sheepishly waving) or simply being a participant in a fast paced, hyper individualistic, capitalist culture.
Whatever it is, the seeking to awaken and striving to thrive impulse is strong with this one. Which makes things full. Which can make disruptions, like getting sick, throw off the delicate balance that never was in the first place.
The thing with disruptions, the unplanned, inconvenient, unpleasant events and demands of life, is that they’re more predictably present than the utopian ideals that our dreams are weaving.
That which breaks our plans or momentum or our tender hearts, isn’t getting in the way of our lives, it is our lives. The presence of things that suck is real life. And it will be forever. Not everything and not always, but over and over again.
So the question is, what goes when things blow? For me, I used to abandon my body to push through the project, or override my needs in order to keep my word. By waking up to and working with this pattern over time, in particular the unconscious beliefs and assumptions that’s driven them, I’ve been able to unhook the automatic conditioning and build new responses and discernment capabilities. Not claiming to have arrived, because this stuff is endless, but certainly celebrating the evolution.
If you’re someone who puts down what’s important to you when life gets hard until you ‘get to the other side’, I see you. I’ve come to know that this pattern doesn’t end until you end it on purpose.
Life won’t create the ideal conditions to lean into what matters most. And it’s often the challenging times that show us both what matters as well as what we erroneously or counter-intuitively prioritize first. Many of us tend to survive by way of engaging habits and behaviors that reinforce an identity and way of life we don’t really want to belong to in the first place.
If life is too full or too hard to prioritize what your heart is most longing for, I invite you to investigate what you’re holding onto that you could put down. An identity? A past story? An expectation or obligation?
When time narrows, what’s most important? When time expands, how do you prioritize the expansion of what matters most to you?
If you want help answering those questions, I’m here for ya. Drop me an email and tell me about where you’re at and what you sense is needed.
Next month, I have openings for 1:1 coaching programs, new workshops and innovation immersions that are built around the needs of the leaders I know (like you), as well as fresh opportunities to receive free 1:1 mini-coaching sessions. A whole range of scale to meet a whole range of real life needs.